Thursday, July 9, 2009


I did this last night before bed after watching a short that was about the same thing pretty much.  The way they did it was kind of convoluted and didn't really capture what they were going after I felt.  So while I was watching this and thinking of all the ways to do it better I wrote my own version of it.  Its really corny and works more as a PSA.  Rather than being in screenplay format its in comic book panel format with lots of the dialogue untyped and the ending cut short, the kid is supposed to get arrested for the harmless crime rather than the other people he passes on the street.  I did this, because I was tired and wanted to go to bed. Maybe I'll finish it later.



1/ A young kid is in his room sitting at a drawing table working really hard on a piece of paper.  All around his desk are his influences hung up all over the wall.  (Public Enemy [Chuck D mainly], RUN DMC, Kind of Blue from John Coltrane [for class], John Lee Hooker [for Outlaw], Tags of fellow artists, etc…)  The table is tagged on so the only clear spot is his chair and his back.


SOUND FX:  scribble, skratch, scribble. (something like that)


2/ The kid stops and looks over the piece inspecting it to make sure that it’s just right.


3/ He looks over to see what time it is.  The time is 9:33


4/ He gets up and goes over to his closet


5/ Slumped over at the bottom of the closet and digging around in the darkness we hear the kid scrounge around through cans of spray paint looking for the right colors, he takes one out to see if it’s the color that he’s looking for.


KID: hmm.


SOUND FX:  clank, ping, skrrt.


6/ From inside the closet now, the kid starts to load up his backpack with all the materials he will need for the night, pain, a handkerchief, etc…


7/ Laying on his bed he gets mentally prepared for the night while he stares at the clock.  The time is 9:47…


8/ The time slips by to reach 11:53…


9/ 12:35…


10/ 1:29… He is slipping out his window now and is about to make his way down the fire escape with the picture on his desk rolled up and hanging out an open spot in the back pack.


11/ Walking down the street he passes teenagers sitting on a stoop smoking weed and drinking 40’s.  One of the teens puts his hand out and the kid gives it a tap.


Teen 1:  Whatddup cuz?


Teen 2:  No rest for the mini man on a mission.


Teen 3:  Right on, man can’t wait to see it.


12/ Walking into the transition area between residential projects and the more connected metropolitan area we see in the some small store front windows bums asleep in the curb, some of them passed out drunk.  From this point on we see an exponential increase in official product advertisement (Pepsi and things like that).  [Like the advertising the street people should build on each other, some start in the foreground and move off to background positions and forms in the background should move up to the foreground positions as they appear in the script.]


13/ Down an alley we see crack heads lighting up up.  A crack head is walking past him going in the opposite direction scratching at the imaginary bugs. A prostitute is standing on the corner.


CRACKIE: nuh nuh nuh man. MAHN! RRGG!!


HOOKER: Mmm honey, you want a taste.  I’ll give you a good price.


14/ The kid finally makes his way to a subway entrance. And goes down the stairs.


15/ In the subway system waiting for the train we see the kid standing because bums are littering the benches and a heroin addict is shooting up.  A drug dealer is also here and tries to make a sale.


DEALER:  Yo man, you lookin’ to get high? I got what you want.


16/ When the train shows up the doors open and some gang bangers leave the care, walking past him they flash their guns and stare him down.


Banger 1: Watch the fuck out bitch.


Banger 2: Wrong neighborhood.


Banger 3:  Do somethin’


Banger 4: Pussy ass faggot.


17/ The kid gets on the train and the doors close behind him. The bangers walk up to the heroin addict and start to threaten him more heinously.  A few talk to the drug dealer, one is shaking hands.


18/ In a seat the kid is staring out the window.  Outside there is the cityscape; some of the sides of the buildings are covered in large pieces.


19/ The kid sits up straight


20/ In the reflection of his eyes we see a blank wall on a rooftop amid all the pieces.


21/ The train lurches to a halt at the next stop and the kid gets up putting his handkerchief on, throws on his hood and gets off.


22/ Down by the ground we see the daunting wall canvas, standing there like a cowboy in a shootout is the kid staring it down.


23/ Over the course of a few panels we hear spraying on the wall out of the frame and see the moon change positions in the sky.


SOUND FX: spshhhh tssst, ssssssst, spppppsssshhhh (whatever it sounds like)


24/ As the night begins to fade off into the morning light we see the kid stand back, covered in paint he pulls the paper that he was working on out and holds it up.


25/ Dropping the paper down he looks at the piece it took him all night to do.  In it is a man with a pen, or a guy spraying a can of spray paint on the building and coming from the pen’s ink is a city street with people walking down it.  The people on it are the exact opposite of what he have seen on the way over (B-Boys, MC’s, DJ’s, etc… or anything really.), and below it is his tag name, above it is a banner that says, “Just a kid growin’ up” or “The good ‘ol days.”

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